


Against the Odds

by Fortisfiliae



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, College, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-07-23 08:50:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16155701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fortisfiliae/pseuds/Fortisfiliae
Summary: College AU ❃ Jocks are disgusting. Too good looking, too aware of it, too drunk and too dumb. Or so you thought.





	1. Idiots like that

College was fine. Sure, sometimes it was tough during exams, but overall fine. That’s what you would tell your parents and friends when they texted you and asked how you were doing. Fine with a smiley face. Not the boring kind of fine, just the averagely “not much going on in my life” kind of fine.

So was this Saturday. You woke up around nine and noticed that your roommate Louise hadn’t returned from her boyfriend’s dorm, as usual on the weekends. Pleasant. Having the room to yourself in the morning was nice. If there had been a possibility to get a single dorm room, you would have taken the chance immediately. Privacy was underrated.

Not that you didn’t get along with Louise. She was a nice girl. But you were two very different kinds of people and she liked to talk. A lot. Both of you had realised how little you had had in common after a few weeks of sharing the room in freshman year, so you had given up on making friends with each other rather quickly. It wasn’t a result of malicious intent though. Just two people who didn’t have enough common interests to keep a conversation going. So you had started sharing the room while not getting into each other’s business too much. You helped each other out when something critical was going on, but other than that, you lived your lives separately. Almost like co-workers who got along well at work, while both knew they would never spend a day with each other in their free time.

This Saturday, after lying in bed and scrolling through all sorts of social media for half an hour, you decided to lie in bed some more and picked up your laptop to watch an old season of Brooklyn 99 on Netflix. Some minutes into the second episode your phone vibrated once and you saw Remus Lupin’s name popping up on your screen.

A frat party. Wow. Not a thing you would have thought to be attending ever again. You had tried it out once, when your best friend from back home had texted you to “come out of your shell more” and enjoy college. The party hadn’t been enjoyable a tiny bit tough, so you’d gone home and had called it quits for partying.  
Remus was right though - you needed friends. It wasn’t that you had no one at all, but none of the people you were really close with were going to your uni, and anyone you had met here wasn’t worth the effort to stick with. Remus was a good guy - a friend of some sorts. You had partnered up with him several times in English class and got to know that even if he was quiet at first, he also was witty, smart and reliable.  
You weren’t entirely sure why he would go out of his way and invite you to a party. You knew he wasn’t asking you out; that wasn’t the kind of relationship you had with him. But if he was nice enough to ask you, you should be nice enough to at least show up there for a minute. 

So it was official. You would go to a frat party. Yikes. Even if the thought of drunk jocks put you off a little, you were excited to meet new people. Remus and his friends would surely be nice to hang out with and if they were like him, they would be far from the pissed-drunk guys you once fled from.

* * *

It was a few minutes past ten when you were on your way to the Kappa Delta Rho fraternity. A few minutes past ten and you already regretted your outfit choices. The burgundy top and black jeans felt fine, what you were worried about were the sneakers. Some groups of girls here and there were swarming to the house as well, but almost all of them wore high heels. The one’s that wore flats were rocking ballerinas and left you feeling like a fashion outlaw, a tomboy with no manners. 

Whatever - at least you weren’t going to suffer in half an hour. No one could make you believe that those shoes were even slightly comfortable.

When you could see the frat from afar, you took out your phone to send Remus a quick message.

Once you entered the house you were glad to be wearing your tomboy shoes. Someone had already spilled a gallon of sticky liquid all across the floor, and most girls struggled to walk without slipping. Joke’s on them.

As you looked across the room to check for a familiar face, Remus suddenly appeared between two people whose backs were facing you. He squeezed through the crowd and greeted you with a smile.

“Hey there,” he called, loud enough to drown everyone else’s voices and the music coming from another room. “I’m glad you came.”

“Hi,” you said as he pulled you in for a quick hug. “So am… I.”

He grinned knowingly. “Doesn’t sound too excited.”

“Well. I don’t come to these sort of things usually.”

“I know, I know.” He turned his head to watch the people storming in. Everyone seemed to be excited to get drunk and kill off their brain cells. “It’s not my favorite time to be here either.”

A girl next to you almost tripped and held on to your shoulder to stabilize herself, apologizing curtly before she went off. “Why are we here then?”

“To pretend we like being squished and yelled at,” he laughed, then turned around and started walking to the next room. “Come on, I saved us some seats.”

You followed him to what you assumed to be the living room. It was big enough to fit fifty people; they must have removed some furniture for the party. There was a table tennis table on the far end, where some dudes already arranged solo cups to play beer pong.  
In the center of the room stood four leather sofas, two four- and two two-seaters, all facing each other in a rectangular constellation, with a wooden coffee table in the middle.  
One of the smaller sofas was unoccupied even though the room was packed, which left you guessing this was the reserved seat Remus had been talking about. You were right, he headed directly there and sat down on the end of the four-seater, next to a dark-haired guy in a leather jacket, leaving the two-seater for you alone.

When you finally reached it and sat down, you glanced around the room once more, still baffled why all those people would rather stand and be jostled every other second than take a seat. Your eyes darted back to Remus and you watched him talking to the guy next to him. The stranger’s hand rested comfortably on Remus’ shoulder, his tired grey eyes drawn to Remus’ mouth as he spoke, until he suddenly looked over to you. His glance made you realize how awkwardly you were sitting. Your back perfectly straight, both hands folded on your lap like you were in church class. While you tried to relax and sit like a normal human being, who wasn’t extremely nervous to be at a random party, the guy drew Remus’ attention back to you by nodding your way.

Remus turned his head towards you and leant over the armrest so you could hear him better. “Oh, sorry. I haven’t introduced you yet,” he said. “This is my… This is Sirius.”

You reached out your arm to shake Sirius’ hand and introduced yourself, but didn’t miss the dirty look he sent Remus’ way.

“I’ve already heard a lot about you,” Sirius said, his nonchalant expression back in place, as he let himself fall onto the cushion again.

“Oh really? Only good things I hope,” you joked and begged he wouldn’t notice that you’ve never heard of him before.

Sirius grinned and clicked his tongue. “Of course.”

“So,” Remus said and raised both arms as if he was presenting the house to you. “What do you think? Not that bad here, huh?”

“Yeah, well,” you breathed and looked around the room again. “Not bad when you’re not getting pushed around in the crowd. How could you even save those seats when it’s full to the brim in here?”

They looked at each other with pleased smirks and Remus laughed inaudibly.

“Are you some sort of VIPs, or what?” you asked when suddenly your eyes went wide in realization. “Wait a minute… Oh my god, are you frat guys?!”

Now both of them laughed, Sirius scratched the side of his neck and laid his arm around Remus’ shoulder again. “We’re not.”

“They’d wish though,” Remus added.

Your hand landed on your chest automatically, thinking of how often you had made nasty comments on jocks and frat guys before. “Whew,” you whispered to yourself and swallowed down the lump in your throat. “Honestly, I was just preparing my funeral. But really, I wouldn’t have thought you were idio-”

“MAKE WAY FOR THE HOLY GRAIL!” Someone’s obnoxiously loud voice interrupted you. “For the golden liquid! The refill you all long for!” People started to part from the archway to the other end of the living room, until a tall black-haired guy came through, carrying a beer keg on his shoulder. He looked at you on his way to the beer pong table and winked. “No need to ask darling, I’ll save one for you!”

“Idiots like that,” you said as you pointed to the guy with your thumb and turned back to Remus and Sirius.

“Um yeah. We’re not in the frat, but our best friend is,” Remus explained and grinned again. “That’s him.”

Well fuck.

“I’m… sorry,” you said and tried to think of a way to take back every word that had left your mouth in the last five minutes. “I didn’t want-”

“All good,” Sirius chuckled as he stood up from the couch. “No big deal, we already know he’s an idiot. You guys want a beer?”

You just nodded along with Remus, hoping he wasn’t mad either. When Sirius had left to get drinks you took a moment to fester in your embarrassment, hiding your face in your hands, your elbows pushing down onto your upper legs. “I am so, so sorry. I’m just stupid.”

“Come on.” Remus’ voice still sounded like he was amused by the situation. Either he really didn’t care or he was good at hiding it. “I already know how you despise frats. You’ve told me. A hundred times I guess.”

“I know! And you’ve never told me your best friend was the cliche beer-keg-carrying frat king!”

“Isn’t that funny?”

“It’s not!” You watched Remus laughing, he let his head fall back onto the cushion of the backrest, his hand holding his tummy like he was a little boy. “I’m so embarrassed. Oh god.”

“It’s okay. We’re good, okay?” Remus said and you could tell he still had trouble hiding his grin.

“Yeah, I guess.” You still felt like an absolute bitch and hoped Sirius would return soon, so you could hide your face behind a solo cup. Sirius! A good change of subjects. “So,” you began and quickly turned your head to check if he was still out of sight. “Sirius, huh?”

Remus’ grin vanished as soon as he saw your wiggling eyebrows. He moved closer to the armrest and leant forward towards you. “What about him?”

“Is there something going on? Between you? You and him, him and you.”

“It’s complicated,” he sighed and seemed to check for him as well. “Always complicated with us.”

“Oh.” Dropped a brick again. “Sorry. You never tell me about those things. Remus, you need to start telling me about all this!”

A tiny smile reappeared on his face. “Okay, okay. I’m gonna.”

When Sirius returned with two cups in his hands, he wedged himself back to his place next to Remus. Just when you started to wonder why he had only brought two cups, you noticed some abrupt movement from the corner of your eye. You looked over to your right just to witness Beer-Keg-Frat-King jumping onto the free spot next to you from behind the couch and were able to avoid being spilled on just in time.

“Whoops, sorry darling. My apologies,” Frat King said as he wiggled on his cushion and offered you one of the cups he held. “Promised I’d save one for you.”

He was the complete opposite of what you had imagined Remus’ friends to be like. Tall, broad shouldered, confident. Too confident, too aware of how good he looked. Messy black hair that looked like he just got out of bed and hadn’t bothered to do anything with it, because he was attractive anyway. The pair of round hipster glasses made him look cute and you hated that too. Careless, loud, annoying. Probably a huge douchebag as well.

“James, this is Y/N from my English class,” Remus introduced you and made you realize how long you must have stared at Frat King.

“Oh I thought so already. I’m James,” he said and raised the cup again. “I’d shake your hand but I’m a little occupied.”

“Hi,” you answered and took the cup. “And thank you.” Why the hell were you so nervous?

“How come I’ve never seen you around?”

_Because you don’t care for your surroundings._ “Um. I guess I’m not around much. I don’t go out very often.”

“What a shame, huh.” James grinned before he took a sip. _What a fucking shame._

The hours passed quickly, you kept talking to Remus the most, because he was the one you felt most comfortable with. James and Sirius shared some stories from junior year and how they’ve managed to stay drunk for sixteen hours straight once. Smart? Not really. But quite impressive nonetheless.  
Later on another frat guy brought a tray full of shots and just placed it on the coffee table where you were sitting. Twelve of the small glasses were still full, so Remus did the math and placed three shots in front of each one of you. You took part in the first two rounds, but backed out at the third. Lukewarm vodka was the worst. So James sacrificed himself and gulped down the last shot for you. Heroic.

It was past one a.m. already when three other guys asked Remus, Sirius and James if they wanted to play beer pong. They agreed, so you got yourself another beer and watched them making fools of themselves for a while. All of them swore they were usually really good at targeting, and blamed it on the shots every time they missed a cup. After a while of watching them, when they were almost done, you felt yourself getting dizzy from the thick, warm air inside and told Remus that you would go outside for a minute. He offered to come with you, but you teasingly declined. You couldn’t stop them from winning now.

The house was still packed, so you wriggled through the crowd and tried not to get spilled or puked on until you finally made it to the other side of the living room and opened the glass door to go out on the terrace. The backyard was beautiful, even in the dark. The grass was nice and well kept, they had a pool and sunbeds all around. No flowers or fancy plants, but you guessed the pool must have been enough work to maintain for a bunch of twenty year old guys.

A girl was smoking a cigarette, but quickly stubbed it out and went back inside when you walked towards the pool. You were alone for a minute. Good. It wasn’t silent, the blaring music was still present, but a lot more damped than inside.  
You sat down sideways on a sunbed, just breathing in cool air and scrolling through Instagram for a while, until you heard the glass door behind you rattling and the music getting louder for a moment. Someone was walking your way. You turned around and saw him. James. Beer Keg James with his hands in his pockets. Damn.

“Mind if I sit with you?” His voice sounded completely different suddenly. Calm, quiet, likable. Soft.

“Sure,” you said and moved a couple of inches to make room. “I was just about to leave anyway.”

“Oh why?”

“I don’t know. Just tired and dizzy,” you shrugged but smiled at him. “Did you win?”

“Of course!” He sighed when he sat down and moved his arms backwards to support his weight on his hands. “What a… What a night, huh?”, he asked and started chuckling. “Sorry I had one too many shots. You want to have some shots? I can get us some shots if you want. Nope? Okay, no shots.”

His babbling made you laugh and you shook your head lightly. “What’s the matter with you?”

“With _me_?” he asked and placed one hand on his chest over-dramatically. “What’s the matter with _you_ is the question. I’m not the one sitting outside while there’s a party going on in there.”

“Yes you are.”

“Well yeah. But I wouldn’t have… Whatever. My point issss.” He seemed to be thinking of something to say.

“Your point issssss?” you asked.

“I don’t know actually,” he said and laughed again.

You looked him up and down, watched as he had a great time with only himself and had to smile as well. “How come you’re friends with Remus?”

“Huh?”

“You’re so… Different.”

He sat up straight, still grinning, but squinted his eyes. “How would you know that, darling?”

“I know Remus-”

“Yeah, but you don’t know meeee.”

“From what I’ve seen today, you’re as different as can be. No offense.”

“Sure, but that’s my party alter ego. My drunk self, you know?” He smiled foolishly again and looked so innocent all of a sudden.

“Okay, I guess you’re right,” you gave in. “I don’t know you. The sober you at least.”

“That’s what I’m saying! We should go out some time.”

“What?”

“Yes!”

“Why?” You wouldn’t have thought that this conversation would go this way. Did he just ask you out on a date?

“Because,” he said and hiccuped. “I think you’re cute.”

“You’re super drunk my dude.”

“I know. That doesn’t make you less cute though. So, next Wednesday?”

His overly confident attitude paired with a decent amount of vodka and beer in his system made you laugh again. How could one human have so much poise?

“James, I’m flattered, really,” you grinned. “But you’re so drunk, I don’t think you’ll even remember talking to me.”

“Of course I will.” Now he seemed a little upset. “Let me at least get your number then. You can block me anytime.”

“Really?” you chuckled.

“Yeah!” he said and took out his phone from his back pocket. “There you go.”

You shook your head while you typed in your phone number. If someone had told you, you would have given Beer-Keg-Frat-King you number tonight, you’d called them crazy.

“Alright, thanks,” James said and pressed the call button. “Let’s hope you didn’t give me fake number, or this will be pretty unpleasant for both of us now.”

A second later your phone rang and James hung up the call. “There you go. You can save me as Jamesssss. With an S.”

“I think I’ll save you as Beer Keg James,” you said as you unlocked your phone.

“Creative.”

“Or Jimbo.”

“Oh god.”

“I’m surprised no one’s calling you Jimbo actually,” you laughed.

“That would be… Awesome and terrifying.”

“Why?”

“The guys have always called me James. I guess because they’ve got these ancient names themselves. Back in highschool, we were a group of four. Just imagine us.” He raised his hand and looked into the distance, as if he was telling you something really fascinating. “Remus, Sirius, Peter.” His voice went really deep. “And Jimbo.”

You laughed out loud, even threw your head back for a second. Who would have thought he was so funny? “You’re right. That wouldn’t fit.”

He nodded and still chuckled at his own joke.  
“Alright Jimbo,” you said. “I think I’ll head home now.”

“Oh already? Why?”

“You should always leave on a high note,” you told him and winked. You winked? Dear lord. “Good night, James.”

You left him sitting on the sunbed and could hear his voice mumbling ‘Good night’ along with another hiccup.

* * *

 

Sunday morning was slow and heavy. The hangover wasn’t that bad actually. You weren’t nauseous, just really drained. After noticing that Louise hadn’t slept in your dorm once again, you got up and took a much needed shower.  
The thought of having to put clothes on and leave the house to get food put you off, so you lay back down in your bed with your bathrobe on and contemplated watching Netflix on your laptop until you would starve to death.

When you scrolled through the comedy section you had to think of James and how funny he had been yesterday. Stupidly drunk, but funny. You wondered if he would even remember any of it. Surely the alcohol had made him forget everything. Still, there was a tiny spark of hope that he had texted you, so you took your phone from the nightstand and your heart almost skipped a beat when you saw his name on your screen:


	2. My sandwiches, my soda, my blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some mentions of blood and needles (blood donations) in this chapter!

**Sunday:**

So James had texted you. He really had. Wow. And he had managed to come off even more confident by only using six words and a winking smiley-face. Douchey. But somehow still cute. How he managed to be arrogant and sweet at the same time would forever be a mystery.

You lay in bed and read those six words over and over again, your fingers hovering above the keyboard on your phone. What should you answer? Should you answer at all? Or should let a couple hours pass, to not seem like you waited for him to text you? Oh, this texting-etiquette where everyone wanted to come off as not interested at all, was a huge load of crap. Still, you contemplated what the right thing to say was. 

You weren’t even sure if you wanted to see him. Alone at least. You didn’t know him, so it would be really unsafe, wouldn’t it? He could be a mass murderer after all. But he was Remus’ friend, so he probably wasn’t.   
It would be so easy to decline. Just a “No thanks”, or simply blocking him, like he had suggested yesterday. But there was something about him. Something that made your tummy tingle. So you kept on thinking.  
He wanted to meet on Wednesday. Wednesday, Wednesday… Oh damn, Wednesday! You had plans already. Convenient for the part of you that didn’t want to meet him, frustrating for the part that did.

Yikes. That sounded rough. Better add something to make it less bitchy.

Good. A reasonable explanation. Not mean, just honest.

That was… Nice! Nothing a mass murderer would say. Right? Probably not.  
You smiled to yourself and put the phone back on the nightstand, your attention wandering back to your laptop. You went for a couple of episodes of The Office, something light and funny.  
It was good, made you laugh here and there, but you caught yourself looking over to the nightstand a couple of times, just checking if a text had arrived that you hadn’t noticed. 

Some hours later your roommate Louise returned from her boyfriend’s and plopped down on her bed.

“Hey,” she mumbled into her pillow. She’s seen better days for sure.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

She raised her head, her hair tousled and make up smeared across her face. “I am. Just a rough night.”

“Where have you been?”

“The frat party,” she said and scratched the back of her head. “Hey, is it possible that I’ve seen you there?”

“Um, yeah. I’ve been there.”

“Really! I knew it. I saw you sitting on the couch with these guys. First I thought it might be someone else, because I’ve never seen you at the frat before. But then I saw you talking to this Remus guy and I know you’ve told me you’re friends with him once.”

“Yeah, he invited me. It was nice actually. Very loud and stuffy. But fun.”

“Are you going out with him?”

“With who?”

“Remus.”

“No. No, no. We’re just friends. He’s really nice though. Introduced me to some people.”

“Oh, I see,” she said and grinned mischievously. “Well, good. Glad you had fun.”

“Thanks! Glad you had fun too!”

“Ugh, yeah.” She sat up with an effort and went to open the drawer with her toiletries. “I smell and feel like shit. I’m going to take a shower. See you then.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Monday:**

A few minutes past 11, you were in bed already and listened to Louise breathing slowly in her sleep. Lights were out, it was completely dark in your room, you were on the verge of sleeping, but checked your phone one last time. Just in case some jock had texted you. Not that you were thinking of him, or anything. Just in case. 

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

 

**Tuesday:**

It’s been a long day. You were reunited with your laptop again, watched this futuristic horror-show and tried to overhear Louise on the phone, talking to her boyfriend. How much time could a couple spend together until they’d start hating each other? What did they even have to tell each other anymore? She had come to your room twenty minutes ago and was talking to him for at least ten now. That means she had last seen him about half an hour ago. Well, everyone’s talented in their own ways.  
You tried to push your headphones further into your ears and put the sound up a little more, to concentrate on the plot of the episode, when your phone vibrated once. 

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

 

**Wednesday:**

You went to the blood drive at 8.30, half an hour before it would open, so the staff could show you around once more. The red cross had pitched up a huge tent, in which you had to sit at the entry to welcome the donors. A guy in his fifties handed you the sign-up sheets and told you what questions you had to ask each person. Easy peasy.  
It was pretty quiet all morning. Not a lot of people could be bothered to wake up early if they had a day off of school apparently. Some freshman came, probably to skip classes, since all of them asked for an attendance note.  
It got quite busy around noon - the line of people got so long from time to time, that some had to wait outside.   
Afternoon was when it got tiring. Not because there were more people, they came and went in waves. But you were hungry and asking the same questions all day had become annoying. You felt your concentration fading with each sheet you gave out and were looking forward to close and go home.   
It felt like an eternity had passed until the older guy, who had shown you around in the morning, came up to you and told you that there were only a few people left in line and they would be done for the day, when those one’s had donated.

Finally. You didn’t even know how late it was, probably around 6 p.m., when the last person in line eventually came up to you. You looked up and saw a familiar pair of brown eyes behind some wild, black curls. James.

“Wha- Hi.” You said and caught yourself raking your fingers through your hair. “You here?”

“Hey,” he said and grinned, his hands hidden behind his back. “Last person for today, huh.”

“I guess so,” you said, a smile on your face as you slid a sign-up sheet across the table. “I got to ask you two questions.”

“Go ahead.”

“Did you drink and eat enough today?”

“I have.”

“Did you drink alcohol in the last 24 hours?”

“I haven’t.”

“Didn’t you say you had a beer last night?”

“Oh yeah. Root beer.”

You frowned. “Root beer?”

“Yes, root beer.”

“Did you really plan to come and donate?”

“I did, on Sunday.”

Had he planned it since you had told him about it?   
“Good.” You cleared your throat. “You need to fill this out please. There are some more detailed questions on the list. The guy over there has to check your answers before they’ll draw your blood.”

James nodded and bent over to fill in his data, while putting a brown paper bag on the table. He started scribbling his name and day of birth when he asked: “Did you donate too?”

“I wanted to do it before I’d go home, but I think I haven’t eaten enough. Practice what you preach, you know.”

He chuckled and pushed the paper bag closer to you. “I bought you a sandwich.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I thought maybe you wouldn’t have time to eat, so I figured I’d bring one. And a coke, for later.”

You opened up the bag and looked inside to see a cheese tomato sandwich and a can of soda, which looked like a five coarse meal in that moment.  
“Oh my god. That you so much. You don’t know how much I need this right now.”

“No problem, darling.”

Darling _._  He was the only person to ever call you that. You cleared your throat again as you opened the plastic wrap of the sandwich. “Do you want some?”

“No,” he said and grinned again. “I’ve had mine on the way. Eat up. And fill out your registration. I don’t want them to stab me alone.” 

 

* * *

 

It was quiet in the back of the tent - only a few people were left to donate. They were all lying down on what looked like portable hospital beds, while five of those beds were empty already.

A short woman with curly blonde hair brought you over to two of the empty beds. “Alright, who wants to go first?”

James looked at you as if he wanted to ask if he should volunteer, but you said: “Can I go first? So it’s over faster.”

“Sure. Ladies first.”

You sat down on the bed, while James did the same on the one beside you, when the woman started to arrange the needles and other props.  
After rolling up your sleeve and positioning your arm so she could insert the tube into your vein, you tried to avoid looking at what she was about to do. The thought of it alone made you nauseous. You let your head fall back, looked up to the ceiling of the tent and inhaled heavily.

“You okay?”, James asked from the side.

“I’m nervous,” you said. “Not a big fan of needles.”

“Alright. Look at me.”

You did and watched him pushing up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. He just sat there and stared back, looked into your eyes and tilted his head slightly with a tiny smile on his lips.

“Aren’t you supposed to distract me?” you asked jokingly.

“I am. Look. It’s all done.”

The lady nodded and handed you a small plastic ball, that you had to squeeze until the bag attached to the tube in your arm was full. She went and did the same to James, who turned to look at you, one eye squeezed shut. 

“Not my favorite thing to do either,” he admitted.

“Alright you two. Here’s your ball, Mister. You can keep them,” the woman said. “I’ll see you in a few minutes. The devices next to the bags will beep when it’s done.”

You watched her go looking after the other donors. She seemed tired as well, but was better at hiding it than you were. It was a strange sensation, squeezing the ball and feeling warmth leaving your arm. You tried to distract yourself from this thought again and looked over to James, who was looking around aimlessly as well.

“You have no idea how bad I want to drink that coke right now,” you said after a while. “Thanks again by the way. That was really sweet.”

James smiled, his eyes lit up for a brief moment and he looked like he wanted to high-five himself. “Anything for you,” he said playfully. “My sandwiches, my soda, my blood.”

Even though you rolled your eyes, it made you laugh and a minute later the devices attached to your blood bags started beeping.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, are you going back to your dorm now?”, James asked when you had left the red cross tent.

“Yeah, it’s only five minutes away.”

“Mind if I walk you home?”

“Uh, sure. Yeah, sure!” you said and took the can out of your bag. Finally. The low hiss that escaped when you cracked it open was worth every ounce of blood. “You want some?”

“No, it’s yours,” he said as you started walking.

“Come on, you’ve earned it.”

James laughed, took the can and had a sip. “Thanks.”

You walked slower than usually, sharing the drink after every other sip and wondered why Netflix suddenly didn’t have the same appeal anymore. Conversation ran surprisingly smooth. It was like he always knew what to say. James sure was funny, but he was really good at making small talk interesting. Maybe that’s why Louise talked to her boyfriend non stop.

You could have easily gone for another five (or forty-five) minute walk, but no matter how slowly you tried to walk, you eventually took the last sip of coke and arrived at the doorstep of your dorm.

“So,” you said and turned around to say goodbye.

“So.”

“Thank you for coming today. I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime darling. It was a pleasure to be stabbed next to you,” he answered and winked. What a dork. “Text you tomorrow?”

“Sure. Or tonight?” 

He suddenly took a step closer, a sly smile on his face - you didn’t know what was going to happen. Would he kiss you? What was he doing? Before you knew, he placed a peck on your cheek, quickly turned around and left.

James turned his head after a few steps and called: “Bye darling.”

You watched him go, grinning stupidly but unable to answer, and looked down to the can in your hand. It was crushed. 


	3. You up?

**Thursday:**

Half past nine in the evening, you had just typed the last word of your essay for English class and had clicked on the save-symbol when Louise entered your room, along with her boyfriend Mike. He was a frat guy. Jockish as hell. Maybe one of the reasons you hadn’t liked those type of guys.

You weren’t sure why they had decided to come to your and Louise’s room – it was certainly too small to miss anything the other person said or did and Louise had told you countless times how lucky Mike was to have a room for himself at the frat. 

Anyway, you weren’t going to ask them because they had decided to watch a movie on Louise’s laptop and after arguing for twenty minutes, had finally picked something out. 

You were on your phone, texting with Remus, who had just started telling you things about his personal life and that he would go to the cinema with Sirius in a bit when you suddenly heard suspicious huffing from across the room.  
You turned over and caught Louise and Mike kissing. Vigorously. Not only that, but things were moving underneath their blanket and it didn’t look like they were folding their hands to pray.

“Guys,” you said. “You know I can hear  _and_ see you from here.”

No answer. They just ignored you.

“Louise! What the fuck are you doing?”

She tore herself away from her boyfriend and took a breath before answering: “Sorry, Y/N. But you must know, I’ve just gotten off my period and we haven’t-”

“Oh my god. Shut up, please. You can’t be serious. Why don’t you-”

Before you could finish your sentence, her mouth was on his again and now it seemed that she was climbing onto him.

“Hello?”

They ignored you again and now you heard something unzipping.

“That’s it,” you said as you got up. “I’m leaving. And fuck you both. Or don’t. Whatever.”

You rushed out the room and stood in the hallway, already typing a text to Remus, trying to ask him if he could help you out. Wait. He was going out with Sirius. So that wasn’t an option. Shit. You walked over to the common room and sat down on one of the mouldy couches. Looking across the area you stared at the microwave for a minute, contemplating if sleeping here was the only alternative you had. Oh please no. It was gross and cold and people would notice. There was someone else you knew. Not that you preferred that. But it was worth a try, wasn’t it?

 

So, yeah. Awkward.  

Oh god. Stupid. No one would believe that. Was there a way to unsend texts?

 

Okay, okay. Okay! Keep calm. You took a deep breath, smelling even more of the gunk that had built up on the kitchen counter, and stood up. Everything was better than spending the night between the remnants of pizza and hot pockets. You caught yourself walking in circles and finally brought up the courage to leave the dorm.

* * *

It was chilly outside, but you enjoyed the cool breeze as you stood on the pavement and pressed the front of your shoe into the concrete until it hurt. A car turned up on the far end of the street. Blinding headlights came closer with the engine revving until it slowed down and stopped right in front of you. A black and sleek Audi whatever-model. Rich parents – what else had you expected?

Last chance to run back in. He could still be a serial killer, right? But he had brought you a sandwich yesterday. Were you really just using food as refutation?  

The window rolled down and James’ curly head poked out. “You coming?”

Well, curly hair and a sub would do as refutation for tonight.

You got in, closed the door and belted up before you finally looked over.

“Hi,” you said hesitantly.

“Hey. So… Drama at the dorm?”

“Yeah. And I’m sorry. That I asked you for this, you know.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I was at the bar and wanted to go home anyway. Actually, I’m glad you did.”

He put in the gear, started driving and looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t. There was a tiny smile on his lips that could only make you guess what he was thinking before you put your eyes on the road.

“So um… Who’s your roommate then? Do I know her boyfriend?” James asked after a while.

“Her name’s Louise. Her boyfriend is Mike. Mike um, Broogler or something? A frat guy, I’m sure you know him.”

“Brockler, yeah I know him. A _frat guy_ , huh?” he grinned.

“He is a guy and part of the fraternity. Frat guy.”

“The way you say it makes it sound like that’s something bad.”

He was obviously joking, the tone of his voice still light and cheery, but there could have been a bit of truth behind his words.

“I didn’t mean it that way. Sorry if I hurt your feelings,” you said. “ _Frat guy_.”

He chuckled as he backed into a parking space in front of the fraternity. “Frat guy is saving your ass tonight, so a bit more respect please.”

“Sorry mister frat guy, sir. I apologize.”

You followed James into the house, which had all the lights off and was empty, contrary to your prior beliefs.

“Boys are all out at the bar. Except for Mike,” he quipped.

The house looked completely different than it had when you were at the party. Classy and strict, a lot of old dark wood embellished the floors and furniture.  You peeked into the living room and it was actually quite cosy without the beer pong table and blaring music.

James walked up to the wide staircase on the end of the hallway and turned around. “Rooms are upstairs.”

“Uh yeah, I figured.”

So there it was. The moment you had to tell him that you hadn’t intended the same thing he maybe had thought of. There was a nasty lump in your throat. How should you bring it up? Maybe he wasn’t even thinking about it and you would just burst in with the unasked-for info that you didn’t want to sleep with him tonight.

“Hey um,” James began. “Just so you know, I won’t try anything. I can sleep in the living room if you want.”

God bless.  

“Thanks,” you said and felt a wave of heat on your cheeks. Where has your confidence gone? Get a grip.  

“Okay, let me show you my room then,” James said and offered his hand.

He led you up to the first floor that had doors to the bedrooms all around. They all had the initials of their names on the doors. His one was the third in line. JP in gold with a little lightning bolt next to it.

You pointed at it and asked: “What does that stand for?”

“I’m fast,” he said and smiled smugly. “Everyone in the team gets a nickname.”

“And yours is Bolt?” you asked as he opened the door.

“Flash,” he winked. “Excuse the mess.”

James went to pick up a bunch of dirty clothes from the floor. “I wasn’t expecting visitors.”

“No big deal, it’s not so bad.”

It really wasn’t so bad. The room was probably the same size as your shared one was, but with a private bathroom. The dream. His bed stood in the corner of the room - white sheets, very chic. On the opposite side was a sideboard with a medium sized TV on it, next to it was the door to the bathroom. His desk stood right by the window, a wardrobe to its left, a small fridge to its right. He’d hung lots of little photos of him and his friends and football fan articles on the walls. It was a bit messy, but it had character.

“Your room is really nice,” you said as you walked around and looked at the pictures.

“Thanks! Make yourself at home. I’m just putting the clothes away and I’m gonna take a shower real quick, I still smell like bar.”

“Sure.”

He closed the door to the bathroom behind himself and left you alone in his room. High level of trust. As you heard him turn on the water you walked over to the other side slowly, letting your fingers run over the sheets of the bed when you went by.

On the sideboard with the TV was his football helmet, freshly cleaned and shiny as a new penny. You noticed a small ball lying right beside it. The one he had gotten at the blood drive yesterday. It still had dents from his fingernails all over it. Looked like he had been more nervous than you’d thought. You smiled and dug your own finger into it, leaving one additional notch, before trying to switch on the TV. It would be nice to have some background sounds and avoid awkward silence later, but the remote was nowhere to be seen.

After looking at the sideboard, his desk and bed you went for the nightstand. Intrusive? Probably, but maybe it was in there.

You sat down on the bed and opened the drawer. No remote. But some other things. A small notebook and a nibbled off pen, as well as a framed picture of two people. They looked like husband and wife - both had grey hair, were probably in their seventies and smiled kindly into the camera. His grandparents? Well, since it was in there and not on the wall, he probably didn’t want to talk about it.

You closed the drawer and swung your legs up onto the bed. Sitting, waiting, wishing. Wishing for confidence and poise and that your palms wouldn’t start sweating every time James looked at you. Right now it felt like his whole room was staring you down. Like it was eating you up. But not in a bad way, it was a welcoming feeling to sit there and gaze over the bits and bobs of his belongings.

When you noticed that the water had stopped running you took out your phone to try and look like you hadn’t been spying. A few moments later James returned in a plain white shirt and grey sweatpants. Quite the look on him admittedly. His hair was still wet, some drops of water running down the side of his face to his jawline and even further down to his chin. God damn, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. He must have done this on purpose.

“You good here?” he asked as he ran his hand through the wet mess on his head.

“Uh-huh, I am. Was trying to find the remote, but didn’t.”

“Oh um. I think I know where it is,” James said and threw himself onto the bed, half lying, half crawling and stuck his arm under the pillow. “There we go.”

He turned on the TV and switched channels for a while until he stopped on the news. The news?! You both sat in silence pretending to be interested in whatever the reporter was talking about. Note to self: There can be awkward silence even if you have background sound.

Trying to think of something to say turned out to be harder than you’d thought. What do you talk about with a guy that had taken you home because you had asked him to, while he lay next to you, smelling like a pinewood full of sunshine and fairies? The fact that there was an inch of skin showing between his shirt and pants wasn’t helping either.

“So-” - “Do you-”

After minutes of silence, you had both decided to start talking in the same second.  
Both of you laughed at your mutual awkwardness and James sat up straight.

“Sorry, what did you want to say?” he asked.

“Nothing really,” you admitted. “I was just… I don’t know. Go on, please.”

He grinned like he was glad that you were more nervous than him. Looked like it gave him a confidence boost. As if he needed one.

“I wanted to say that I can give you clothes to sleep in. You didn’t bring anything in your handbag, did you?”

“No, I didn’t really have time to pack when I was running from the fucking in my room. But it’s fine, you don’t -”

“Oh, come on,” he said. “You don’t want to sleep in jeans. No one wants that.”

“Yeah, I guess I don’t.”

He crawled off from the bed and walked over to the wardrobe. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything sexy,” he joked. “But a frat shirt will do I think.”

He laid it down next to you before sitting on the bed again.

“Thanks, James. I’m gonna go change in the bathroom.”

“Sure. I put out a toothbrush too if you want to brush your teeth.”

What a mom.

The bathroom was small but still better than one on the hallway. You took off your clothes and put on the shirt James had given you. It looked huge on you. Dark red with the fraternity name Kappa Delta Rho on it, it reached almost down to your knees, like a really unflattering dress. It was soft and smelled nice though. Not like pine wood and fairies, but sweeter. Clean, fresh cotton with a hint of washed out cologne. 

The toothbrush he had been talking about laid next to the sink, still unpacked and new. Did a stock of dental hygiene products mean he had people here often?

After you were done in the bathroom you went back to James’ room, where he was lying on his bed again, watching TV with one hand behind his head, the other one tucked into his waistband. This time, it seemed he couldn’t take his eyes off you. A dumbfounded expression on his face as you walked towards him and the way he eyed you up and down made you instantly feel better about yourself. There was your confidence boost and you had very much needed it.

He cleared his throat when you sat down on the bed. “Well. If you want to sleep now I can go downstairs and -”

“No,” you interrupted him, maybe a bit too eagerly.

“Sorry?”

“I… I think you can stay. If you want. I mean, it’s your room. That wouldn’t be fair, to invite myself over and send you down to sleep on the couch.”

“Oh.” He looked more confused now, his hand wandered to the back of his neck. “I mean yeah. I’m glad to stay if you want that.”

You smiled, lifted the blanket to crawl underneath it and lay down sideways to face him. “I think that’s what I want, yes.”

He got under the blanket as well and said: “We can watch a movie if you want.”

Half an hour into “Baby Driver”, you had caught James looking at you twice. But the only reason you caught him was that you had looked over as well. It was absurd really, how every move he made got your heart rate up to 180. Every time he breathed in deeply or stretched out his legs you thought he would reach over and hold your hand. And suddenly, after checking his phone, he did. You were so focused on coming off relaxed that you didn’t even grip it back. It must have felt like you were dead until you remembered that you weren’t. You held his palm tighter and felt his thumb running over the side of your index finger, which made your stomach tingle.

“James?” you asked.

“Yes?”

“You’re really nice. I mean really,” you said even though you didn’t know where those words were coming from. “You know at first I thought you were just this guy, screaming with a beer keg on his shoulder. And I thought you were cocky, which… You are when I think about it.”

He laughed lowly. “That started as a compliment and ended as an insult.”

“I know, sorry” you bantered. “But you’ve been a real gentleman, very sweet and respectful and I didn’t expect that. Thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, wearing a smile that showed he was really full of himself right then, but that didn’t matter because his face neared yours now.

A kiss so sweet, it would have literally swept you off your feet if you hadn’t been lying down already. His lips, soft and mellow, skimmed over your own and it felt like listening to music; easy and pleasant as you found your rhythm and moved to the imaginary beat. His damp hair tickled your forehead until a simple peck brought your song to an end and a foolish grin seemed to refine it.

“How does it feel?” he asked after some seconds of silence.

“What do you mean?”

“Being in a frat, wearing a frat-shirt, kissing a frat guy in his frat-bed?”

“Oh shut up,” you laughed pushed him off by his shoulder.

He countered and started tickling you, to which you started screaming, turned around and kicked his legs.

“Whoa, easy Rambo,” James chortled and held you tight.

“No mercy for a tickler,” you answered and let your hand rest on his arm. “You’re a fool, James. I like you.”

* * *

The next time you opened your eyes was when a ray of sunshine beamed right into your face. You tried to shift but couldn’t until you noticed that James’ arm was still around your waist and held onto you even in his sleep. His breaths were slow and deep, his skin soft on yours and you could have easily spent the rest of your day in this position.

That was until you took your phone from the nightstand and checked the time. 9:17! Shit. You had forgotten to set an alarm last night and your first class started at 10. You had to leave right now, or you wouldn’t make it on time. So you shuffled away from his grip, got up, put your clothes on and went out the door.

While on your way to the dorm you took the time to shoot James a message:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback are highly appreciated! :)


	4. Why not?

**Friday:**

James hadn’t answered your text from earlier, which made you second guess your choice to sleep at his place. Worried thoughts ran up and down your mind all day. Had you said something wrong? Was he disappointed that nothing more than a kiss had happened? Was he mad because you had left without waking him?

Men. And they say girls are complicated. Jeez.

It was hard to concentrate while checking your phone for new messages every other minute and up until your last class of the day, which you shared with Remus, you were sure something was wrong.

“Hey, Y/N,” Remus said as he sat down next to you.

“Oh hi,” you replied and smiled. Apparently not convincingly enough, because he raised his eyebrows at you.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s nothing.”

“Come on, you said I had to tell you stuff about my life, now it’s your turn.” He nudged your shoulder.

“Fine.” You exhaled a breathy laugh. “Well, actually, everything is fine. I um… I went to James’ yesterday.”

His eyes went wide. “Really? When, how, why?”

“Louise, my roommate, had her boyfriend over and things got a bit out of hand, so I had to leave and, since you were occupied with someone else,” you shot him a mischievous grin, “I texted James and he picked me up.”

Remus’ expression was a mix of surprise and shock. “I… Wow, that was fast.”

“Remus!”

“I’m joking. Go on.”

“Well, he took me to the frat and showed me his room. He has a nice room, you know?”

“I’m well aware.”

“He was… Sweet.” You looked down to the table and felt your cheeks blushing at the thought.

“Oh no. You had sex and now you regret it because it went too fast and you don’t want to see him again, don’t you. God, why-”

“Remus!” you whisper shouted and looked over your shoulder to check if anyone was listening. “It’s nothing like that. We… kissed. That’s all.”

“But you wanted more and now you’re sad?”

“No! It was nice.”

“Then why are you looking like that?” he asked and tilted his head.

“Well, I overslept and had to run to get to my first class in time. I didn’t wake him but sent him a text and he hasn’t answered.”

Remus looked dumbfounded. “That’s it?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Oh, thank god.”

“What?”

“I thought something bad happened. Don’t worry about him not texting you back, he does that to me and Sirius all the time. I’m sure he’s still very much into you.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, he’s…” Remus cleared his throat. “I think he’s just a little busy today, that’s all.”

“Fine, you know him better.”

Remus chuckled to himself and shook his head lightly. “Acts all shy and then sleeps at James’ place. You’re tougher than you look.”

You scoffed. “And you’re more judgemental than I thought.”

“I’m joking, Y/N. Sorry.” He still couldn’t help but laugh quietly.

English class went by faster than the ones before. You didn’t bother to check your phone as much. Partly because you believed Remus and also because you didn’t want him to mock you any more.

“What are you doing tonight?” he asked after the lecture was over.

“No plans yet,” you said as you packed your stuff.

“You want to come to the bar with us?”

“Who’s us?”

“Sirius, James and I.”

Well. That could be awkward as hell. But Remus probably was right and you shouldn’t worry too much about James not texting you.

“Um, okay. Yeah sure.”

“Great. I think we’ll be there at 9.30.”

“Sounds good. And um, could you maybe… Check if the coast is clear for me?”

“What do you mean?”

“Could you ask James, subtly, if he’s mad or anything? And if he is please tell me, so I won’t make it all awkward by showing up.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Thank you, Remus. See you then.”

 

* * *

 

The evening came quicker than you had anticipated. It was 9 pm already when you still hadn’t decided what to wear, with your hair wet and a towel on your head. Louise was nowhere to be seen all day. She was probably in her right mind again and completely embarrassed about what she had done yesterday. You hoped that she wouldn’t be at the bar since the frat guys claimed it their second home and anywhere her boyfriend was, she wasn’t far.

Your phone rang when you pulled a black top out of your closet, not sure if it was the right thing to pick.

Alright. Showtime!

 

* * *

 

You took an Uber to the bar, got out of the car and looked into one of the windows before you entered. It was already pretty packed in there. Typical Friday night. When you walked in and didn’t see the three guys right away, you let your gaze wander over the mass. A lot of guys and not so many girls. This could get interesting. Some dudes turned their heads your way when you walked past them and you heard them mumbling something to each other. How they could already be drunk at this time was one of the many things you would never understand.

You finally found your friends at the end of the room, on a table in the corner. Sirius and Remus were sitting next to each other with their backs facing you as you walked towards them. James sat on the opposing side, already watching you with a smirk on his lips. He had his arm on the headrest of the small couch already. How convenient.

“Hi,” you said as you sat down next to him, wondering if you should greet him in some special way. A kiss? On the cheek, or on the mouth? Should you just hug him, or do nothing at all?

James made that decision for you when he leaned closer and pressed a kiss on your temple.

“Hi darling,” he whispered into your ear and made your heart race with two words only.

Sirius raised his cup to you, smiling cockily before he took a sip and Remus raised his eyebrows, mouthing silently “Told you.”

“Sorry I’m late, guys. How are you all?” you asked and tried to cover your reddened face with your hands.

“We’re good,” James said and motioned for the waitress to come over. “We’ve just talked about… Things.”

“Things?” you asked.

The waitress arrived before he could have answered, took the order and wrote down one glass of Bacardi and Coke for you, as well as a round of shots for Sirius.

“Oh actually,” Sirius said when the waitress was about to turn around. “Make that eight shots.”

You all looked at him as he smiled smugly. “What? I’ve had my Law test today. No way I want to remember any of that.”

After the drinks had come and you had downed the first round of shots, talking felt a bit easier. The guys made dumb jokes and Sirius started asking you things about yourself. First, it seemed quite nice that he was interested in getting to know you, but after a while, it felt like he was cross-examining you.

“So when did you and Remus meet then?” he asked and looked into his cup.

“Um, I think in English class in Sophomore year. Remus?”

“Sounds about right, yes,” he answered. “We got paired up quite often and then found out that we’re quite similar.”

“I see,” Sirius said. “And do you have any other friends on campus, or…?”

What was he on about?

“I guess… not?” you answered shiftlessly.

“Sirius, enough,” James said and Remus pushed his elbow into Sirius’ side.

“Alright, sorry,” Sirius sighed and got up. “I’m gonna get another drink.”

You watched him walk over to the bar and turned your head back to the other two guys. It didn’t seem like Sirius liked you one bit.

“I have a feeling he doesn’t trust me,” you said and sipped on your drink.

“Y/N, no. It’s not like that,” Remus said.

You felt James hand on your shoulder, but before he could say anything, the thought struck you like a lightning. “He is jealous, isn’t he?”

“No, he -”

“I have to tell him not to worry. I… I’ll be back in a bit,” you said as got up and went over to where Sirius was waiting for his drink.

You ordered another one as well and turned over to look at him from the side.

He still looked straight ahead, then down to the wooden plate. He had noticed you were standing next to him, you were sure about that.

You cleared your throat. Still no reaction. Well then.

“Sirius?”

He sighed but turned his head towards you. “Yes?”

“I… I don’t know what gave you the impression that Remus and I… I’m not even sure how to say it. But there’s no need to be jealous or anything.”

The barkeeper served him his drink and he chuckled lowly before drinking. “I’m not jealous, Y/N.”

“Oh. What is it then? I got a feeling you don’t like me.”

“It’s not that either,” he said and looked back down into the glass.

Mother… Why was he so vague?

“I’m protective,” he began after a while. “I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but I want to make sure my friends are safe. Especially Rem.”

You frowned and motioned at yourself. “Do I look like a threat to you?”

“You don’t. But there were things happening… Which probably wouldn’t cross your mind in your wildest dreams. So I want to make sure we’re surrounded by trustworthy people.”

He seemed calm but still didn’t take his eyes off you as he downed the rest of his drink.

“Has something happened to Remus?” you asked.

He shook his head lightly. “He has to tell you himself. If he trusts you enough, that is. I can’t make that decision for him.”

What the actual hell was going on?   
The barkeeper put your drink on the counter and you took it without looking away from Sirius.

“Alright.”

“It’s nothing personal, Y/N. I promise,” Sirius said and motioned for you to follow him back to your table.

As you went there, still wondering what all of this meant, you sat down to see the worried looks on both of their faces.

“So…” Sirius said. “I heard you worked at the blood drive this week, Y/N. How did that go?”

He offered you another shot and smiled. This time it looked genuine and as if that was his strange way of apologizing.

 

* * *

 

 

A couple of hours later, and primarily a couple of shots later, James started telling some of his football stories and pointed to all the guys around the room that had something to do with it.

“We got this new coach a few months ago. Completely different technique, I’m telling you. We were all sceptical at first, but his way really seems to work.”

You felt his hand on your thigh and with that, your head snapped up to look at him. James acted as if nothing had happened and kept on talking about their new training methods while his thumb drew all sorts of patterns on your leg.

“You should come and watch us train sometime.”

“Yeah, why not?” It was meant to sound nonchalant but your voice went up a tad too high on that last word.

Remus rolled his eyes at you and Sirius grinned as he leant over and said something you couldn’t hear.

You narrowed your eyes and got closer to James, whispering into his ear. “Stop being cocky.”

“Stop reacting like that then.”

You clicked your tongue.

“That just motivates me, darling.”

You stood up and cleared your throat. “I’m gonna go get another round. This one’s on me.”

 

* * *

 

 

Your head was aching the next morning, your pulse thumping heavily against your temples and your limbs were sore. You turned around, released a quiet whine and felt something tickling your nose. When you opened your eyes you saw a strand of curly hair. James. Again? Shit.

You sat up straight, which made your head hurt even more and looked down at yourself. Fully closed still. That was a good sign, wasn’t it?

“Morning,” James slowly said as he turned around. He looked exactly how you felt. Icky and drained, with bags under his eyes. But somehow, God knows why, he still looked good.

“Morning,” you replied and lay back down. “What happened yesterday?”

“I… Don’t really remember either,” he said and laughed. “I think the bar closed around four and they threw us out.”

“Too many shots,” you whimpered.

“Exactly.” He sat up with an effort and crawled off the bed slowly.

Some memories came back. Remus had booked an Uber for the four of you and him and Sirius got out first. When you had arrived at the frat, James had asked you if you wanted to come over. You hadn’t answered but had just leant in to kiss him.

“Here.”

His voice brought you back to reality and you caught yourself grinning like a fool. James offered you a bottle of water, which you gratefully took, and plopped back down onto the bed.

You gulped down a few sips as he turned on the TV and switched through the channels. A few more chunks of memory seemed to return while you massaged your temples. The two of you had left the Uber and had stumbled upstairs, had made your way to his room, all noisy and drunk. You had almost entered someone else’s room on accident before James had stopped you, which had resulted in another fit of laughter.

You had practically fallen onto the bed, still giggling and talking a bunch of baloney, while James had gone to the bathroom. When he had returned, he must have found you fast asleep, still in your clothes and sprawled over the bed.

And that’s where you were still. Now next to him and half awake, while he was trying to find something to watch.

“James?” you asked.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?” You turned over to face him.

“Sure.”

“Why didn’t you answer my text yesterday?”

“Oh um,” he sat up a bit. “I must have forgotten, sorry.”

“Oh. I thought something was wrong, but…”

“No, no. I just wasn’t home all day.”

“Football?”

“No. I uh. Was visiting my Mom.”

His Mom? That’s sweet.

“Do your parents live nearby?”

He played with the bottle cap between his fingers. “She’s in the hospital at the moment.”

“Oh. Oh no, I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay. They called me and said that she was not doing so well yesterday, but I think she’ll be fine.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

He looked up from the bottle, then back down and sighed. “Tuberculosis.”

Shit.

“James, I’m so sorry,” you said and tried to find any more words to say.

“Thanks,” he replied and you could tell his smile was forced. “It’s not been so easy lately, you know. Dad passed a year ago, now Mom’s sick.”

“I had no idea,” you muttered.

“You couldn’t know,” he said. “It’s fine, I’m sure she’s gonna be fine. Can we… Can we change the subject?”

“Uh, yeah sure,” you said and grabbed the remote, then moved closer to him. “I’m great at finding the best movies on Netflix. Did you know?”

“I bet,” he grinned.

Although the movie was good, you couldn’t help but think of that picture in James’ nightstand you had seen the day before. Those were probably his parents. Your heart ached for him and you felt so arrogant for only thinking about yourself when he hadn’t texted you back. You just wouldn’t have thought that there could be any sort of problem in the life of the golden boy.   
How stupid of you. All you had done until now was assuming things about him until he had proved you wrong. Why he would even put up with  _you_ was the real question.

You took his hand and ran your index around the outside edges of all his fingers, making him smile softly. Then you pressed your palm against his and felt the warmth of it spreading through your hand. His hand was bigger than yours, so he bent his fingers and touched the tips of yours with them.

“Your hands are so big,” you chuckled.

“And you are small.”

“In general?”

“Yeah,” he said and laughed quietly.

With that same warm feeling on your palm and in your stomach, and the quiet sounds of the TV in the background, you fell back asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

It was past 5 pm when you figured you finally had to leave and go to your own dorm once again. Your hangover was almost gone and you hadn’t heard anyone walking or talking outside of James’ room in a while, which meant you probably wouldn’t have to see anyone if you were quick.

“You sure you don’t want me to drive you home?” James asked. “I’m sober again, I swear.”

“No, no. Thanks, but I need to walk for a bit. Trust me.”

“Okay then,” he said, walked over and held your face before he put a kiss on your forehead. “See you soon?”

“Very soon,” you answered before you opened the door with a smile. “Bye James.”

 

* * *

 

Downstairs was relatively peaceful. You heard the TV rambling from the living room, but other than that it was quiet. You had just taken the last step on the stairs when the front door opened and a blonde guy entered the house.   
He looked unfamiliar and a bit confused.

“Hey,” you said incidentally, as you walked by.

“Hello,” he replied. “Sorry, are you here often?”

You stopped and turned around. “Um, only recently. Are you looking for someone?”

“No, I’m sure I’ll find my way around. What’s your name by the way?”

“I’m Y/N.”

He offered his hand for you to shake. “Nice to meet you. I’m Peter. Peter Pettigrew.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback are highly appreciated! :)


	5. New Friends, Old Enemies

On Monday after class, when your stomach felt like it was eating itself because you forgot to bring a snack, you noticed a food truck on the side of the street, on your way home. This was new. And probably a sign that you should finally eat something. 

You crossed the street and went up to it. The scent of oil and onions should have grossed you out, but who were you kidding? It smelled delicious and had already lured you in.

Your eyes were on the menu the whole way over and you had just finished reading it when the guy in the truck greeted you.

 

“Hi. What can I- Oh, hi. I think I know you.”

 

You looked over to him. Dirty blond hair, chubby schoolboy cheeks and a welcoming smile. Peter. Peter Pettigrand, wasn’t it? He was the last person you had expected to see there, so you cleared your throat.    
“Hey. Peter, right?”

 

“Right! And you’re Y/N from the frat.”

 

“Not really from the frat, but yeah.”

 

He chuckled and wiped his hands on a kitchen towel. “You’re lucky today.”

 

“Why is that?”

 

“You’re my last customer, I was just about to change my shift.” He bent down over the counter and motioned for you to come closer, so you could hear him better when he whispered. “And, between you and me, the guy that takes the next shift is a shit cook.”

 

You laughed quietly and shook your head. “I _am_ lucky then.”

 

“What can I get you?”

 

“Um... How about the classic burrito?”

 

“Excellent choice! Extra cheese?”

 

“Sure!”

 

“It’ll be there in a minute. You can take a seat, I’ll bring it to you.”

 

You did as he said and sat down at one of the garden plastic tables that were placed in front of the truck and scrolled mindlessly through your phone.    
Who was this guy anyway? 

He hadn’t been to the frat before, but well, you haven’t been there often either. You were pretty sure he wasn’t a member because he seemed so lost last Saturday morning. Maybe he had friends there. Or he was just a really bad burglar.

 

“Mind if I sit with you?” Peter asked when he arrived with two steaming hot plates in his hands.

 

You put your phone to the side and said: “No, have a seat please.”

 

“One classic with extra cheese. Here you go.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

You took a bite and it was, unexpectedly, extraordinarily good. Not only because you were starving - it was actually delicious.

 

“Wow, Peter! That’s the best thing I had on campus I think,” you said and took another bite.

 

“Told you it’s your lucky day,” he chuckled and started to eat as well.

 

You wiped your mouth with a napkin in between bites. “You know what’s funny? I’ve never seen you before last Saturday and now it seems I stumble over you everywhere I go.”

 

Peter grinned and swallowed before he answered. “Well, that’s probably because I’ve never been on campus before last week. I just started working here.”

 

“So you don’t go to college here?”

 

“Nah.”

 

“Why here then?”

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“Why did you start working on campus? I have a feeling you could be a great chef in a restaurant or something.”

 

He squinted his eyes and laughed in a low voice, shaking his head a bit. “No, that wouldn’t be something I’d enjoy doing. Maybe later in life. But this here,” He motioned to the truck behind him. “Is really chill and easy. Restaraunt kitchens are way too stressful and you never see the people’s faces when they take their first bite.”

 

“Like you’ve seen mine just now?” you asked.

 

“Exactly. You looked like I just gave you a million bucks. That’s why I cook.”

 

“For the million bucks smile?” you joked.

 

“For the validation. It makes me feel good, that’s all I want.”

 

“Fair,” you said, took another bite and imitated your first expression.

 

“Hah, now you’re teasing.”

 

He seemed quite nice. Genuine. Like a pal to go pub crawling with.

 

“So,” you began. “Who were you visiting in the frat on Saturday?”

 

“I could ask you the same question,” he grinned.

 

“True. I’ll tell you if you tell me.”

 

“Go on then, you first.”

 

“James. Potter.” You tried to sound as emotionless as possible, despite the fact that you felt your stomach tingling when you said his name. “You probably don’t know him, do you?”

 

“Oh,” he seemed less surprised than you would have thought. “Well, I was looking for James Potter too.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Couldn’t find him though. One of the guys in the living room said they would look for him upstairs, but then told me he wasn’t feeling good. So I left.”

 

“Yeah, he… Had a rough night I guess.”

 

Peter laughed.

 

“So, are you old friends?” you went on.

 

“We went to high school together. We were best friends, James, Remus, Sirius and I. You know them too, I assume?”

 

“I do. You said you  _ were  _ best friends?”

 

“Well, we’re not anymore.” Peter sighed and looked down onto his half-empty plate. “There was a lot of shit that went down. We were all young and dumb, so I thought I’d check in on James again, you know? Didn’t seem like he appreciated that though.”

 

“Hm… Well, maybe I can tell him you’re here? If you want.”

 

“Oh um. That would be nice, yeah. Can I give you my number? So we can stay in contact with that?”

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

You wiped your fingers on your pants before you unlocked your phone and handed it over to him. Peter typed in his number and gave himself a call.

 

“Just to make sure I gave you the right one. I always seem to forget my own. Thank you.” He handed your phone back. “So, I figured, you and James are dating?”

 

Oh god. 

 

“Um, not really I think,” you answered.

 

“You think?” 

 

“I mean, I don’t know. It’s all kind of fresh and new, so I wouldn’t call it dating, but we’re getting to know each other.”

 

“In a romantic way.”

 

“Yeah,” you said, even though it sounded more like a question.

 

“That’s great, isn’t it! Good for him. And you.”

 

“I guess so, yes.”

 

Just after your last bite, when you had crumpled up the greasy napkin, something else caught your attention. A guy rode his bike down the road. Nothing special, until you recognized the jacket and his black hair blowing in the wind. Sirius!  

You waved your hand to greet him but were met with a bewildered expression. His face seemed to scrunch up as if he was trying to see you better from afar. Right after that, he nodded to return the greeting but simultaneously speed up his bike and made a turn at the next crossway. Strange.

 

Peter hadn’t noticed any of it, as he was picking up the dishes. 

“Well then, thanks for keeping me company. I got to clean everything up before the next guy takes over my shift.”

 

“Oh wait, I haven’t paid you,” you told him and started looking for your wallet. “How much is-”

 

“Keep that. That’s on me,” Peter stopped you and went back to the truck. “No argument allowed.”

 

An hour later, when you were back in your dorm and had just started studying, your phone rang with a new message.


	6. Part 6 - Bits and pieces / Bids and secrets

It had already started to get dark outside when you arrived at the Fraternity. Remus had texted you for an “emergency meeting”, whatever that meant. So you had rushed over, not knowing what to expect and found the three guys in the living room.

Sirius closed the wooden door behind you after you had entered.

They all looked quite irritated. Or stressed and concerned, for lack of a better word.

 

James sat on one of the couches, forearms resting on his upper thighs and stared into his phone. He rose his head once you had walked in and greeted you with a small smile.

 

Sirius sighed more than he did anything else, apart from walking in circles and fiddling around with the ring on his finger.

 

Remus was the only one who came off calm. He hugged you and offered you a seat beside him.

 

“Guys,” you started and looked at each one of them across the room. “What the hell is going on? What happened?”

 

Sirius sighed again, now twisting his ring faster, still wandering up and down. “It’s Peter. He’s here.”

 

“Yes, he is. What’s the problem with that?”

 

“Peter was our friend in high school.”

 

“I know that, he told me.”

 

“What else did he tell you? About back then?”

 

“Uh, not much. He said you were friends but then something happened and now you’re not friends anymore.”

 

Sirius stopped walking for a second, and locked eyes with you. It felt like he was trying to see if you were lying. “Do you know why he’s here? Did he ask about us?”

 

“Um. He said he started working here, like a week ago. In this food truck. And he said he wanted to visit James on Saturday. Here at the frat.”

 

They all looked at each other with stern expressions. Sirius finally took a seat next to James, on the couch opposing you.

 

“How did he even know that you know us?”

 

“I met him here on my way out on Saturday morning.”

 

“And you didn’t tell us?”

“Sirius,” Remus intervened.

 

“Am I supposed to tell you guys about everyone I meet?” you raised a brow.

 

“No, you’re not,” Remus answered and shot a warning look towards Sirius. “She didn’t know him. How was she supposed to know?”

 

“What’s this all about?” you asked and looked at James.

 

He just let his head fall back and shrugged.

 

“What have you told him? About us,” Sirius went on.

 

“I… Not much. Just that I know you,” you said and felt your palms getting clammy. “I offered to tell James that he is here.”

 

Sirius’ eyes went wide and now they all looked at you intensely.

 

“You see, I still don’t understand the problem,” you explained. “Peter was really nice. We exchanged numbers, so he could-”

 

“You did what?”, Sirius asked and almost jumped to his feet again.

 

James rubbed his forehead and heaved yet another sigh. “Mate, calm down.”

 

“Calm down? I’m not even halfway up!”

 

Remus bent forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “James is right. We all need to calm down a bit.” He turned towards you. “Was there anything else you talked about? It’s just important that you tell us, no harm done.”

 

“I think that’s it. I asked him why he was working here, then we talked about your ex-friendship, exchanged numbers and I went home.”

 

“Okay. That’s… Not so bad,” Remus said.

 

“I mean, he seemed like a chill guy. I don’t know what happened back then, but maybe you can bury the hatchet and give him a chance.”

 

“No we certainly cannot,” Sirius denied.

 

“But if you’d just talk to him, maybe-”

 

“We won’t. Simple as that. You don’t know what happened.”

 

“Well then tell me! You’re all cross-examining me, playing good cop, bad cop, and I don’t even know what’s going on.”

 

They looked at each other again, Sirius’ eyes firmly on Remus, but no one said a word.

 

“You had your time questioning me, now it’s my turn,” you claimed. “What happened? I need to know what’s going on so I can help you.”

 

Now all of them looked downwards, Sirius fiddling with his ring again. The seconds passing felt like hours and you heard them sighing simultaneously.

 

“I think,” Remus began quietly. “I think it’s better if you don’t know. You just have to trust us. Peter is bad company.”

 

Your stomach seemed to fall inches deeper into your body. Then you realised.   
“You don’t trust me. But expect me to trust you.”

 

“No, it’s not about trust,” Remus said.

 

“What is it about then?”

 

“I think you’re safer when you don’t know. That’s all.”

 

Now it was your turn to sigh. “What the hell? How am I supposed to be safe when I don’t know what I have to watch out for?”

 

“You have to watch out for Peter,” Sirius spoke quickly. “That’s what I’ve tried to tell you and there’s nothing more to know.”

 

You scoffed. “So what do you expect me to do now? Block his number and never talk to him again?”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” he answered nonchalantly.

 

“I won’t do that. He’s been nothing but nice to me.”

 

James raised his brows as he looked over to you.

 

“You can’t expect me to cut someone out when you don’t even trust me enough to tell me what he’s done.”

 

“It’s not about trust,” Remus told you again.

 

“Then tell me what it is about, for fuck's sake.”

 

Silence. James’ leg bounced frantically as he looked at Remus, and Sirius just shook his head.

 

“I can’t,” Remus whispered.

 

“Okay then,” you said as you got up. “If that’s all that I’m supposed to know, I’ll leave now. Bye guys.”

 

Remus and Sirius both watched you go, while James followed you to the entrance.

 

You quickly walked down the hallway and your hand was on the doorknob already when you felt a hand on your shoulder. James stood there and had a hard time looking you in the eyes. The tenseness seemed to go away for a bit though. It was quiet here and no one was questioning your motives for a change.

 

“I’m sorry,” James said. “For this. Sirius… He’s a law student. He likes to practice his techniques on everyone.”

 

“Well, I don’t appreciate that.”

 

“Me neither. I just want you to know that I would tell you. But it’s not my place to do it.”

He seemed lost. A million thoughts behind his eyes that he just couldn’t put into words.

 

“Can I ask you something?” James said.

 

“Sure.”

 

“Why did you exchange numbers?”

 

“What?”, you asked while a smile formed on your face. “You’re worried about _that_?”

 

“I mean, I don’t know,” he mumbled, his eyes roaming across the floor. “I was just wondering why you needed his number.”

 

“He asked me. So we could stay in contact about you. Because I offered to tell you he’s here. Remember?”

 

“I see.” His shoulders suddenly relaxed, his chest rose and it seemed like he just grew an inch taller. “Well, please don’t tell him anything. Or if he asks, you can say we’re... I’m not interested.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“And,” he went on. “Be careful with Peter. I actually think Sirius is right and you shouldn’t keep talking to him.”

 

You lifted your hand to touch his cheek and held it for a moment. It was hot against your palm, his eyes now watching yours.

“I know you’re concerned. But no one can tell me who I’m allowed to talk to. That won’t happen.”

 

“Alright,” he murmured. “But promise me to be careful, okay?”

 

“I promise,” you said, pulled him closer and kissed him on the lips. “Goodbye James.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback & comments are always highly appreciated. I live on your comments and they motivate me immensely :)


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